SA TABI LANG PO
Ni Renaliza Rogers
peysbuk
Gusto kong magsulat tungkol sa pasko dahil nalalapit na ito, pero marami nang magsusulat tungkol diyan at okay lang kung mababawasan ng isa. Kaya magsusulat na lang ako tungkol sa isang bagay na kinahuhumalingan ng marami ngayon, ang Facebook.
Halos lahat na yata ng taong naka-gamit ng computer ay mayroong Facebook page (alam ko isa ka na diyan). Kahit nga siguro mga taong walang kaalam-alam sa computer ay mayroon na ring “facebook” dahil ginawan ng kakilalang marunong sa computer (natamaan ka ba?). Kadalasan, lalo na sa mga kabataan, pag sinabi mong wala kang Facebook, asahan mong magugulat ang kausap mo na para bang sinabi mong isa kang alien.
Mainam itong Facebook para sa mga taong magkakalayo, tulad na lang ng mga nangingibang-bansa, para masubaybayan ang mga nangyayari sa mga mahal sa buhay. Titingin-tingin sa mga bagong pictures ni bunso sa eskwela, makilatis ang bagong boyfriend ni Ate kung mukhang adik ba o hindi, makita ang mga pics ni kuya na nag-iinuman nanaman kasama ang tropa, at kung anu-ano pa.
Ang Facebook ay may photos section kung saan pwede mong makita ang mga litrato ng isang tao. Merong magagandang picture, merong mga nakakatuwa at meron ding mga malalaswa. Inis na inis ako sa mga taong nagpopost ng mga picture nilang nakahubad o naka-panty at bra lang. Hindi dahil naiinggit lang ako pero dahil nagmumukha silang tanga. Susko naman, magbigay naman kayo ng kaunting class sa sarili ninyo. Okay lang kung nasa beach kayo’t naka bikini, pero yung nasa kwarto o banyo’t underwear lang ang suot at parang jejemon na trying hard na nagpopose habang pinipicturan ang sarili upang idisplay sa Facebook for public access…ay iba na yun. Ang mas masahol pa ay ang mga taong proud na proud pang nagdidisplay ng mga pictures ng mga anak o kapatid nilang maliliit habang kunwari’y nagyoyosi o naglalasing o di kaya’y nakahubad sa pag-aakalang ito’y nakakatuwa. Magmumukha ka lang ogag o di kaya’y pedophile sa mundo at pwede ka pang i-ban ng Facebook for indecency at inappropriateness!
Sa Facebook, pwede mo ring isulat ang kasalukuyang nararamdaman mo bilang “status” mo. Pwede ring mga lyrics ng kanta or quotes na napulot kung saan-saan, etc. Pero please lang, huwag mong ibalandra ang mga personal, pribado at maselang problema mo sa Facebook dahil nakakahiya. At please lang, huwag ding magmura na parang walang modo dahil ikaw rin ang lalabas na walang breeding, sige ka. Mas mabuti pang diretsahin mo na kung sino man ang may atraso sayo sa pamamagitan ng isang private message kung saan kayong dalawa lang ang makakabasa upang hindi kayo mapag-chismisan.
Sa Facebook pwede mo ring mahanap ang mga kabigan at kamag-anak na matagal mo nang hindi nakikita at makipag keep-in-touch sa kanila. Pero isang paalala, huwag mong “i-add as a friend” ang lahat, lalo na pag hindi mo naman kilala. Nagtataka ako kung bakit may mga taong merong libu-libong friends sa Facebook. Seriously, kilala mo ba lahat sila? Pwera na lang siguro kung isa kang public figure at marami kang fans. I’m sure kahit nga mga public figures merong mga private accounts kung saan mga malalapit na kaibigan at kamag-anak lang ang nakaka-alam. Mag-ingat sa pag-a-add ng friend sa Facebook dahil hindi mo alam, ang iba diyan ay mga spammer or scam artists na pwedeng i-hack ang Facebook account mo at huthutan ka ng limpak limpak na salapi! Minsan merong mga lokong kokopyahin ang picture mo at gagamitin bilang katatawanan sa internet ng hindi mo alam. Kaya’t value your privacy kahit papano.
Ang facebook ay useful din sa pagpapalaganap ng mahalagang impormasyon. Huwag ka nga lang magpapadala sa mga walang kwentang “Chain Mail” na mababasa mo na kesyo mamatay daw ang kapitbahay mo or mamalasin ka sa pag-ibig ng 10 years pag hindi mo ito nirepost. Seriously?! Nagpapaniwala ka dun?!
Sa Facebook, madali magkaroon ng hindi pagkakaunawaan. Patama ito sa mga magulang diyan na minsan ay masyadong siniseryoso ang nababasa sa “facebook” ng mga anak. Minsan magpapanic na kaagad dahil akala’y may kaaway ang anak dahil sa isinulat nitong “Langya ka! Hayup ka talaga tol!” Yun pala, nagbibiruan lang sila ng mga kaibigan niya. Minsan din akala’y may matinding problema na ang anak dahil sa status nitong, “I’m all out of love, I’m so lost without you...” Huminahon ka, nakikinig lang siya sa Air Supply. Diba, ma?
Oo, ang Facebook nga naman ay nakawiwili at isang convenient tool para sa pakikipag ugnayan sa mga mahal sa buhay at mga taong kakilala mo. Lagi mo lang tatandaan na magtira ng kaunting delicadeza sa sarili. Huwag mo ring hayaan na maging masyado ka nang dependent dito at maging pamalit na ito sa aktwal at personal na pakikihalubilo mo sa mga kaibigan at kapwa tao. Ika nga ni Bob Ong, “Ayokong masanay sa mga bagay na pwede namang wala sa buhay ko.”
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The Common Denominator
By Arlene Dinglasan
Ms. A came to Japan during the bubble period as a singer. She mesmerized her now-husband with her golden voice, had 2 children who are now music-loving teenagers, and now goes out karaoke-ing with the family as a way of bonding and de-stressing. Having raised her kids in a Japanese-only environment to keep them away from bullying classmates, Ms. A only gets to taste Filipino food and speak Tagalog at the Philippine events she occasionally goes to on weekends.
Mr. B acquired his Mombushou scholarship and studied the best way to raise shrimps and crabs at a prestigious university in Tokyo where he has won lasting relationships with his fellow scholars from numerous other countries. Although he enjoys their company, when homesickness strikes, he dials a couple of friends’ numbers to splurge on adobo and pinakbet dinner in his dorm.
Mrs. C was a science teacher at a public high school in her hometown and is married to a car mechanic with whom she has 7 growing children. She opted to come to Japan as a domestic helper to support her growing family’s needs. “Ma’am”, as she calls her employer, yells at her on a daily basis for reasons such as the baby crying loudly while Ma’am is doing yoga, or the broccoli being a shade too green, or the attic having a dusty corner. At times when she misses being called “Ma’am” instead of addressing it to somebody else who has a lower educational attainment than hers, she would settle for a Skype chat with a former student she once ran into in church.
Dr. D was a pediatrician before he came to Japan in search of a greener pasture. He now is the driver for an ambassador and has brought his wife and children to Tokyo to live with him. On weekends, he drives his whole family to rehearsals where they all find pleasure in developing the family’s common interest in Philippine theater. He sees this as a way of providing his family with opportunities to make friends from his home country, as well as to instill Philippine culture and values to his children and for him and his wife to nourish friendships they have come to rely on, especially when the going gets rough.
Aside from being in Japan, what do Ms. A, Mr. B, Mrs. C and Dr. D have in common? The need for friends and friendships…the longing for the security that they have names to call anytime whatever kind of need strikes…the thirsty yearning for connection with other human beings who not only speak the language of their minds (i.e., Japanese), but also the language of their hearts that they used back home…the craving not only for familiar food but more importantly for familiar faces and voices with whom they build deep relationships…the chance, no matter how limited, to alleviate homesickness…and sometimes having at least one soul with whom to share their hopeful thinking that the yen they are privileged to send home is enough of a substitute for the hugs that their own children need as a dose of affection but cannot have.
Friends. Friendship. The common denominator that you and I need wherever we may be: in our own little hometown, but more intensely in a country so foreign that it leaves us feeling that we are drowning and helplessly ferreting for a life jacket. Friends.
(*All characters and situations in this commentary are fictional and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.)
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