Thursday, November 15, 2012

Dennis Sun

By Dennis Sun

“Cry. Forgive. Learn. Move on.
Let your tears water the seeds of your future happiness.”
-  Steve Maraboli

Ibang klaseng umiyak si Nora Aunor. Kapag sinabi ng direktor sa kanya, umiyak ka, sasagot ang superstar, “Direk, sa kaliwa o kanang mata ba ako luluha?” Pag sagot naman ng director na sa kaliwang mata, tanong bigla ni Ate Guy, “Direk, hanggang saan mo ba akong gustong lumuha? Hanggang ilong? Sa pisngi lang? At direk, ilang luha po ang gusto ninyo?”  To Nora Aunor, each teardrop is worth a thousand words already.

At the end of each year, I must confess, I cry. Basta umiiyak lang ako. This is a personal annual tradition I engage in. I spend days of quiet reflection of the year that is now about to end. I try to remember everything that has transpired in my life since January day one of the year. Can you just imagine that? As I open my “te-cho” or mini schedule book from page one, each and every worth remembering experience comes back to me like a slap on my face, my heart and my wallet. Sometimes, it’s just too much to handle. Kaya siguro basta’t lumuluha na lamang ako.

This year seems to be an emotionally heavy spell for me... especially July of this year when I lost my dad. That left me crying for several days. Baka siguro, wala na akong luha pang ibubuhos ngayon. Umiyak talaga ako pero everything was in control and moderation. Especially during the funeral, I needed to show my other siblings and members of the family that we had to be strong for our dad. And I am not really into big exposure of emotions. Just a few teardrops. But inside, it was all so deep and heavy. Siguro, mas masakit sa mga kapatid at nanay ko na nakatira sa Pinas. They have seen my dad’s full 10 year ordeal and fight against death until his last breath. For us who live abroad, ilang araw na iyak lang sa Pinas, and then we are back here and we can easily move on with our lives.

And a couple of months after my dad’s demise, I had a severe case of gallbladder attack. I was screaming and crying in deep agony! I was rushed to the hospital’s emergency room twice in the span of one week and eventually was confined for 10 days without solid food. According to the obasan (old woman) confined next door suffering the same fate as me, “I would rather have 2 consecutive child births rather than experience another gallbladder attack!” Although hindi pa po ako nanganak and will never bear a child, ganyan po talaga grabeng kasakit ng gallbladder attack. Since I do not know child bearing, I can perhaps describe it with our Filipino superstars. Kulang po siguro ang talent ni Nora Aunor to depict this experience. This calls for the tour de force of a Vilma Santos. Hindi lang iyak. May kahalong hysteria at pa sigaw-sigaw. Hayun, pina-opera ng obasan yung gallbladder niya. Wala na siyang gallbladder ngayon so she will never experience another attack. Whereas I did not opt to go under the knife. Kaya I really need to watch what I eat.

Pero ask ko lang: Why do we stop people when they cry? What’s wrong about crying. Lagi nilang sinasabi, “Huwag kang umiyak.” Kasalanan po ba ang umiyak? Does crying show you are weak?

For me, crying is like an emotional cleansing. Kung meron colon, liver and kidney detox, how about an emotional detox? We release negative energies when we cry. It’s like my heart and mind had a good nice dip in the emotional spa.

Tears are good for the well-being of our eyes. The most basic function of tears is to help us see. Tears help lubricate the eyes. And I read somewhere that tears kill bacteria and virus, as well.

When the physical body is under stress, it perspires through sweat. When the emotional body is under stress, it needs to do emotional perspiration through tears. And if you suppress tears, this could lead to diseases like high blood pressure, heart problems and peptic ulcers. We need to express and release all our feelings so they won’t become monsters inside of us that later on could kill us. Maybe I haven’t cried enough at my dad’s funeral kaya nagka-gallbladder attack ako.

Looking back at my small schedule book for the year, I realized how much tears I have shed this year. Hindi lang river, I cried an ocean full of tears! Kaya siguro nangayayat ako. I lost 5 kilos already. I should stop going to the gym and save money. Perhaps I will just cry so I can lose weight! Perhaps I should form a new group, we meet and tell sad stories that would make us cry for hours. I wonder who among my friends would join me.

And as we end the year, let us continue to ask ourselves what we have done this year. Let us think of this year’s activities and what they added to our life. What lessons we learned, what things we accomplished, who lent us a helping hand, who gave us more hurts and pains, who lied to us, who gave their shoulder when we needed it most. Let’s all look at these experiences objectively and embrace them for being a part of our lives. Cherish the memories, forgive the past, and just give thanks. Then, we can move on to the new year with a clean slate of welcoming heart.

Wishing you all the happiest of holidays with loads of tears. . . hopefully, tears of joy!

1 comment:

  1. i can join you. i can so much relate, kuya. hang on. but do you know that some people - sa sobrang bigat ng nararamdaman nila -- di na sila makaiyak kasi namanhid na sila? good for you, you maintained that natural ability to cry and cleanse yourself emotionally. crying is better than becoming emotional wrecks. maybe God gave us tears to water down things that are upsetting the natural harmony which all of us have to maintain to function properly as human beings. its amazing how everything that has been given to us by God comes to good use in every situation that we need to face.