Jeepney Press 2010 November-December Page 18

DRIVE-THRU

by Stephanie Jones Jallorina

INSIDE THE CLOSET

Hi Dear Readers! December is already around the corner and this year we have altogether drive-thru the “Airport, Stage, Park, Beach and In the Bus,” almost outdoors. We will explore more on that by next year but for the meantime, reflect on what is inside. Autumn na, leaves are falling; might as well have the same clearing of conscience.

Closet o kabinet, aparador at kung ano man ang translation nito sa ating sariling dialect sa Pinas, ay ang kagamitan sa loob ng bahay na karaniwang pinagtataguan natin ng ating mga damit, ng mga pagkarami-raming kubyertos na naipon natin mula sa napakaraming pinuntahang bazaar dito sa Japan. Di po ba’t napakahilig natin doon? Sadyang ang Pinoy kung saan makakamura, hala sige, kasi maraming kamag-anakan na tinutulungan o kung di naman, pag may pagtitipon, naku isang baranggay.

But closet can be associated to so many different things. Ang daming kuwentong maibabahagi ng isang closet mula pagkabata na magandang balik-balikan at siyang makapagpaalala sa atin kung gaano kaganda ang buhay at kung gaano tayo kaswerte ng hindi natin napapansin. When we were kids and were still living at home, my own father would always complain every Sunday about us his children staring at our closet for long, can’t decide on what to wear for church. While we are upset as to what to mix and match, he would then always litany about how, in their time, when life was especially hard, that their closet only contains a clothe or two that they have no choice but to wash and wear. He would riddle in Hiligaynon (Ilonggo dialect), “uba laba, suksok mala!” And we would be even amused of one of this riddles of him instead of being reminded how fortunate we are to have a mother who were and are able to work here just so we can have something to wear, and how we are wasting time to get to mass at church where God, in the first place, welcomes your heart and presence and not your bangles or red stilletos.

Movies and Tantrums - two more childhood stories that are worth sharing about closets. Many of us would surely get scared of closets because of moviemakers using them as hideout of children trying to escape from a rape scene, and eventually die. The drama film will turn into horror film that would scare children like my cousins, especially when the light is out, to get near the closet. Our youngest brother, Kim, due to over a decade of age gap, when he was barely two was spoiled and at times having tantrums especially when things do not go his way. One afternoon, we decided to end this unhealthy behavior of him and thought we were succeeding. The poor kid ran to the bedroom and slammed the door, the typical scene! But then, feeling the need for further isolation, he locked himself inside the closet which was then partitioned into three and which he shared with my sister and other brother. When his anger might have subsided, we thought he’s fine only to be surprised of him pulling a chair from the dining and into his feeding bottle bag, so he could reach for and packed his clothes! Lalayas siya ng bahay! He was just a kid to take grudges against us. I personally felt I was one of those evil/villain in scary movies. Closets will be associated to a place of elements that are not of this world, and simply, for temporal comfort. Tayo ang gumagawa ng ganitong pakahulugan na kung hindi natin babaguhin at reresolbahin habang buhay nating dadalhin ang takot at trauma.

Pero sadyang may mga kwento namang talagang malungkot na mula sa umpisa pa lang ang hirap ng harapin. Gaya na lamang ng ating mga kapatid na lalaking itinuring pero pusong babae o babae ang panlabas pero lalaki ang gusto. Sila ang tinatawag nating Closet King and Queen. Kahit pa halos katanggap-tanggap na rin ang gender na ito sa ating komunidad, marami pa rin ang natatakot na “mag-out” kasi kahit sa mismong tahanan nila, feeling nila “hindi sila belong.” Mismong ang simbahan ay may stand sa ganitong isyu kahit na noong kapanahunan pa naman ni Kristo ay siyang talamak na. I think let us just be slow in anger and judgement and try to understand where they are coming from. Panigurado hindi madali ang maging bakla or tomboy or bisexual.

Alalahanin natin na gaya nila tayo man ay mayroon din kung hindi maraming “Ske-leton in the Closet.” Mga bagay na hindi pa siguro natin kayang sabihin or talagang sa atin na lang. Ito na lang, sana, ang ating maging basehan lagi ay sukatin natin sa bigat ng ating itinatago o di kayang ipangalandakan o sa kung anuman ang pinagdaanan natin noon na sadya tayong nahirapang isiwalat ang ating relasyon at pakikitungo sa ating mga kapatid. Sana iwasan natin ang mga okasyon kung saan tayo maaaring makapanghusga ng pinagdadaanan ng kapwa natin. Maganda na tinitingnan natin ang panloob kesa ang panlabas. At siguro isang pabaon kapatid, God said, “Whatever you do for the least of your brethren, you also do for Me.”

-----------------

Okasan Journal

by Cleo Umali Barawid

A Day in the Life of Moi

Phewww! Nakakapagod! At sobrang ginaw! Galing ako sa isang private English lesson kanina lang at nag-bike lang ako to and from my student’s place. Mendouksai kasi kung magsa-subway pa ako. Medyo malayo din yung bahay ng estudyante sa station kaya mahaba-habang lakaran din yun. These days, kahit malamig na sa labas, ginagamit ko pa rin ang aking luma pero maaasahang bisikleta. Pinangako ko sa aking sarili na hanggang kaya kong tiisin ang lamig, go pa din ako sa pagba-bike. I’m hitting two birds with one stone, ika nga. Nae-exercise na ako, tipid pa sa pamasahe.

Fast forward now, napatulog na ang mga bata kaya it’s time for some “me” time and what better way to spend it than browse Facebook. Nakakatuwa yung nakita kong isang FB page kanina... ang sabi “Hindi porke’t nasa abroad ako, mayaman na! Hindi ako banko!” Tama nga naman! Sa atin kasi sa Pinas, pag nasa abroad ka, akala nila pinupulot lang ang pera. Hay! Kung alam lang nila! Ang hirap kayang kitain ang yen. In my case, kailangan kong kumanta ng pagkaraming nursery rhymes at magturo ng ABC sa mga sobrang likot na bata sa yochien. Ang buhay ko dito sa Japan, simple lang ang pilosopiya, kung gusto ko ng masarap na buhay, kailangan kong pagtrabahuhan. Magtatrabaho ako ng weekdays, at kapag weekends magre-relax kasama ang pamilya. At kung minsan, when I feel I really deserve it, I pamper myself with an item that I really like or I go to an onsen. Kainam ng ganitong sistema, fair at just. You reap what you sow. The input is directly proportional to the output. Sad to say, hindi ganito sa Pinas. Nagturo rin ako ng mahaba-habang panahon sa atin pero tulad ng madami na nasa teaching profession, undercompensated ako at overworked din. Samantalang dito, paglabas ko ng school, sa akin na ang oras ko.

I have the best of both worlds here now. Naaalagaan ko ang mga chikiting pagkagaling nila sa school at nai-improve ko din ang aking sarili through work. Pero don’t get me wrong ha! I’m not saying that we can only be productive through paid work. Kung mayaman ka na at hindi mo na kailangan ng moolah, pupwede ka namang mag-aral o mag-volunteer work. Madami lang dyan, halimbawa teaching English to Nihonjins, church and civic activities, PTA etc. Kailangan ka lang maging Miss or Mr. Congeniality at huwag mahihiya to approach people and widen your network.

I was a stay-at-home mom dati. Yung mister ko noon ay scholar sa Hokkaido University. We were totally dependent on his scholarship allowance na hindi talaga kalakihan pero napagkakasya naman. One morning I woke up so bored of my routine kaya I started to go out and ask people on how I could find a part-time job. I thought maybe I could put my university education to use. Teacher ako sa Pinas dati. Of course, medyo matagal din bago ako nakakita. I read the adverts for schools in need of English teachers, and been turned down in some kasi hindi daw ako native speaker! Hays! Buti na lang hindi ako balat sibuyas kaya go pa din ako kahit ilang ulit din akong nadisappoint. My perseve-rance paid off in the end ng matanggap ako in not just one but two schools pa. Kaya naniniwala ako na when you don’t take no for an answer, you’ll eventually get the response you want.

At ngayon, I’m a working mom, and lovin’ it... well, most of the time. Nakakuha ako ng slot sa hoikuen o daycare dahil naabot ko naman yung required 20 hours of work per week. Kung walang sakit ang mga bata, wala akong problema. Pero pagnagkasakit ang isa sa kanila or worse, silang tatlo na sabay-sabay, stressed to the max ako. Isa ito sa mga downside of living in a foreign country. We are totally on our own. At minsan pag-ganito ang pakiramdam, naiisip kong umuwi na lang sa atin sa Pinas. Pero as always, naiisip ko na hindi pa ito ang tamang oras umuwi. Strike while the iron is hot, di nga ba? Lahat ng problema may solusyon... kailangan lang maging maparaan. Na-master naming mag-asawa ang mag-juggle ng schedule para ma-accommodate ang isa’t-isa. Pati ang aming mga anak natuto ding maging self-reliant. Alam kasi nila na pag hindi sila nakisama... hindi kakayanin ng mama. They clean up their own clutter, at they study on their own. Minsan nakaka-guilty. Nagtuturo ako ng ibang bata, pero sila hindi ko matutukan. Ang ginagawa ko to compensate, bumibili ako ng mga workbooks at binibigyan ko sila ng homework everytime na aalis ako. Pag-uwi ko I check their works, at pag magaling sila, they get a prize.

Paano mo nagagawa yan? Tatlo ang anak mo, isang taon pa lang yung bunso, at nakakapag-baito ka pa on the side? Karaniwang tanong ito sa akin. Pati nga sarili kong nanay hindi makapaniwala na nakakaya ko. Ako din minsan ay namamangha din sa mga bagay na kaya ko palang gawin. Necessity is the mother of invention. I move at breakneck speed. Hindi pwede ang mabagal kung may mga bata. At syempre, it helps din na meron akong napaka-supportive na husband na tumutulong sa mga gawaing bahay. Hindi bumubukol ang pagod. Mapagod man, ipahinga lang ng kaunti recharged na naman. Everytime a day ends, I give a prayer of thanks. Kasi alam ko na nagawa ko ang dapat kong gawin at dahil dito, makakatulog na ako ng mahimbing.